The impending end of articles and the subsequent looming of the big bad world has got many people I know fairly pre-occupied. I've realized that the stress, at least for some of us, comes partially from the tension between trying to figure out if we're looking for a job, a career, or a vocation - or wanting to find a vocation, but having the sneaking suspicion we are going to settle for a job.
So, this has made me wonder - are we asking for too much, hoping that we will find a vocation, that our days will be filled with something that we feel truly called to, and that will make a difference in the world? I know there are people who do what they do during the day, but find their passion elsewhere - but few people I know would be happy with that. Is this a natural product of being over-educated? - it's hard after 8 years of university to get out of a mindset of having meaningful work, and in professional training, such as law school, there's the added element that you learn to see your identity as being associated with your profession.
Or, is that voice telling me I am looking for too much the same voice that generally sucks the passion of youth out of people, and convinces them that all they want is a mortgage and an SUV, when they never remember dreaming of those things before? And thus the tension again - I don't want to settle, but I don't want to be foolish - I don't want to hold onto this romantic dream of doing something "adventurous" if it's out of habit - it can become as much a societal expectation (just a different society) as the settling down urge, if you aren't careful.
And then back to the question - am I making too big of a deal out of this anyway, because it doesn't really matter what I do with my days, as long as I do it with integrity and to the best of my ability? Or, am I expecting too much, and we all have to make choices, and deal with the choices that are handed to us - am I expecting I'll have it all?
A year ago, Sulini sent around an article about how our generation is paralyzed by having too many choices, and maybe that's what this is all about - and I just have to move forward in some direction, keep my eyes open, and continue to evaluate where I'm at, and figure out if it's good for me. Generally, I don't believe in fatalism, and that there's only one right path for a person, but it's easy to forget that and get bogged down in this feeling that what I choose now will shape my life forever. I think that I really do want a vocation, but it probably won't happen tomorrow, and I have to stay true to what I believe (man, this sounds cheesy) and use whatever job comes my way to learn and grow.